|S J Smith
Joined: 10 Sep 2003
Location: Scariest Place in Florida
|Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 2:12 am Post subject: It Isn't (Faith/Connor) - R rating
S J Smith
Rated: R for Language
Written for penguins for the Connor ficathon. Hope you like, kiddo.
Disclaimer: Still the wrong sex to be Joss Whedon Ė and I swear I donít have the money for the operation.
* * *
It isnít what you think. I mean, just look at him. All skin and bones - canít even believe that the kid could come from Angelís genes. Heís a little bit of nothing. Not even taller than Fred, if you can believe that. But damn, he can fight. Heís got the moves of a Slayer and a demon and he knows how to use that body.
I like how he uses that body.
I really like how he lets me use that body.
Itís not like that though; well, it wasnít at first. God, the mistakes we made. The mistakes everyone made. If Witchy Willow and I had left the Hyperion just a few minutes earlier, maybe everything wouldnítíve gone tits up. Maybe weíd have been on our way back to Sunnydale, to help B in whatever mad quest she was on then, oh, right, the First, instead of having to kill Cordelia Chase.
Not that I really minded too much killing Cordy. Some hatreds just donít die, you know? And Queen C always did treat me like I was so much dog shit on the heel of her shoe. It took Willow and me both to take her down and we had to get through Angel and his buds to do it. God, talk about wanting to die afterwards, we did, both of us did, but Willow pointed out that whatever that thing was, it wasnít Cordelia, no matter how much it looked like, sounded like, hell, from what Angel babbled, even smelled like Queen C.
So, Willow and I both had another death on our hands. We tried to tell ourselves it was for a good cause; I mean, just think what mightíve happened if that thing with Cordeliaís face had spawned whatever demon baby it was carrying. It wasnít much but it helped us with the guilt. The others...well, they werenít exactly appreciative of what weíd done, not at first. But when they saw what Cordyís real body looked like, something not at all human that only the green guy recognized, well, they kinda forgave us our trespasses.
Angel took it really hard; I guess heíd had some sort of feeling for Queen C. Didnít stop him from saddling up to go with Willow into Sunny-D when she asked, though. Hell, she didnít really even ask. I sorta told him to go. Figured that a vampire with a soul might be some use to B. Willow kinda shook her head at that, I didnít know what she meant at the time, but Angel blew outta L.A. as if all the demons of hell were on his tail.
The kid mightíve gone with but there were some unresolved father-son issues that Iím still not in on, so he stayed behind. I thought us killing Cordy mightíve busted him; even Angel was worried about it and when he calls, and, god, he calls all the time, the first thing outta his mouth is a question about how his son is. But the kidís made of sterner stuff than that. Yeah, he misses her, I know, even if the Cordy he knew was an imitation of the original. Sheíd gotten inside his head, into his heart. And heís had such bad luck giving away his heart.
So Iím trying to stick around and make sure it doesnít get shattered again. And, you know, this saving the world gig is pretty much all I know. So Iím here in L.A. to help Angelís crew while heís off being busy in Sunny-D. Yeah, they coulda put me back in jail but Wes, man, heís good, he pulled some strings to keep me out. Nice of him, huh? We settled into a Watcher-Slayer type thing, even if he does scruff up a helluva lot nicer than most men do. And Fred and Gunn stayed on, too; and Lorne. And the kid. You know, I offered to keep an eye on him for Angel.
Wonder if the big guy figured it out then or if he really was too distracted to notice, what with Cordyís betrayal and him finding out B was in danger. I mean, he and the kid did have a talk, afterwards, that we werenít in on. Just the two of Ďem and I figure, Angel didnít wind up as a pile of dust and the kid wasnít battered when they came out of the office, so it mustíve been a decent talk, right?
Donít get me wrong, the kid can out-stubborn a cat. And fight? He can go toe to toe with just about any demon out there. Heís almost as good as me, just donít tell him I said that. Hell, the way he fought with me while Willow was sticking that soul back in Angelís body was enough to get a girl ready, you know?
All right, I know what youíre thinking; foreplay isnít about hitting each other. But thereís something about fighting that still, no matter what, makes me hungry and horny. And while Iím in L.A., I figured I might indulge a little while Iím working on the good side of the street.
Wes knows what weíre doing. He rolls his eyes, sometimes, when Connor and I come back from a fight and our clothes are ripped in a completely different way than if a demon had tugged Ďem offa us. Fred nearly walked in on us once. Lorne just gives me this indulgent smile - but I know heís worried. Afraid the kid could hurt me. Maybe vice versa but Iím thinking more the former. ĎCause no matter what Connor is, he still pretty much hates two things, well, three if youíre counting Angel: demons and magic. And he was more than a little messed up after the whole Cordy thing.
I wasnít sure what to do about it; I mean, the only friends Iíd lost were because Iíd cut them outta my life, I betrayed them, not the other way around. Sure, B and I have our differences and if she finds out about my Orpheus trip through Angelís head, thatíll probably just add another notch in the gun belt but really, when it comes down to it, sheís still the one I want at my back, with Angel and the kid flanking us both. Iím ready to let bygones be bygones if weíve both grown up enough to do that sorta thing. But helping the kid come to that realization, that the woman he fell in love with was using him, well, I didnít know how to handle it. I went to Mayor Wilkins on my own, after all and he treated me like a person, not a thing; like a fucking daughter, even. He took care of me and loved me in his own way but I went in with my eyes wide open. I knew what the deal was. Connor didnít have that. He didnít know like I did. And that tore him up, inside and out.
He was prickly about it; you know, I understood that. He yelled at poor Fred and made her cry. Thought Iíd have to pull him offa Gunn. So I kept him busy. At least if he had his mind full of fighting, it made it hard to think about other things. And Iím not into that touchy-feely crap that they spouted off when I was in prison. Yeah, fighting through your grief probably isnít the best way to do it but it does channel your energy and at least, when you go to bed afterwards, you can sleep rather than think.
I wasnít really sure if heíd ever be right, not that Gunn and Fred thought heíd ever really been anything other than a clever little monkey (her) or a sneaky bastard (him), but he turned to me after a fight downtown that had us using all our cunning and strength and I was almost thinking, god, I wish Iíd had B or Angel there, with one of their plans because Iím more a go on guts girl, and he just had this little boy lost face. I couldnít help it, just took him in my arms to hold him and the next thing I knew, we were going at it like bunnies.
Energizer bunnies, you know, if they fucked instead of carrying around those stupid drums.
Donít get me wrong, the sex is great. Fabulous. Every Slayer ougtta get herself a half-demon or whatever the hell Connor is for a lover. Heís got staying power and heís strong and he can take what I dish out. Not that Iím out to hurt him, you know, just that it takes a while to get me going, even with all the fighting, and heís up for that.
God, is he ever.
I have no idea what Angel will say when he finds out but Iím not gonna tell him just yet. From what trickles in on the Sunny-D line, Bís got two souled vamps to worry about and their bickering is enough to make her want to move to L.A. herself.
It isnít that Iím worried that she might just do that. Hell, getting away from Angel and Spike doesnít sound like a bad deal, to me.
Just have to tell her Iím not sharing my little find with anyone else.
"I know it gives the enemy a handhold, but somehow I feel better going to a big battle with pretty hair. " --Buffy, in Kristi's "Fallen Angels"
Icon By Mzz Goddess Blue